The last post was on the 18th. And today's the 22nd. Time flies... 2 months went by juz like tt. From the last day in school with the Whole of my s208 doing OP and touching PW for the one last time, until now.. a few days to X'Mas. I think at the end of the yr, i would write a summary of wad I've done this yr here.....
These few days.. did nth much xcept kicked ball. Sat soccer with some TJC ppl which boosted my morale and confidence on the ball, mon went shopping (I can really shop!! Haha! Juz ask yz on his views =D), and tues kicked ball again with some muds. Wed going to watch National treasure with TY and Amir..
Wad did i REALLY do this whole holiday???!?! Nth much to do wif studies though. I juz wan to free my mind of them now. I want to rest and to chiong all the way nxt yr. And while I'm typing this, I have my Ionic Eq notes infront of me pg 35. Haizzzz..
Anyway, I'm come up wif an analysis. Watching San play is a mind-opener. It opens up ur mind to a lot of things and u can really learn a lot a lot from his style. His is the only one among them cuz of his aggression. I think only i can match tt, ONLY for aggresssion. So I wan to sort of pirate his style =D. And I can;t play under pressure, my heart and brain do not co-ordinate and i end up entangled. I can think properly, my decision making slows down, composure drops. Everything sux!
Okok.. enough of soccer le. It's been a lot a lot of soccer lately. =D. Makes me sound like a soccer freak. A guy wearing round spects with his shirt tucked in and pants pulled up high on the waist carrying a cock soccer ball wearing track shoes. Haha! Tt's MY idea of a soccer nerd. Think deep into my thoughts =D.
Ok, sth different now. I'm lazy but determined. Contradict? Nah... I am vv lazy by nature, but I'm vv determined also! I dun want to laze around so I'm determined to do stuffs. I dun like to procrastinate! I hate it!!!! I can't stand it when ppl do tt. But if wif friends.. there's nth i can do xcept suggest sth. Like those days at Econ....
I'm short and hot-tempered, but I have vv strong self control. I flare up vv easily but no grudges most of the time. BUT... BUT i only flare up with friends i am comfortable wif. That is close and gd friends. Cuz only wif them I can den show my True self w/o restraits by being comfortable. However, wif not so close friends, I can't. Even if someone pisses me of so badly, I would control and ren.... haha! I wun flare up. With the xception of drivers who horn at me when I'm jay-walking when there're like 70m away going at 10m/s. I juz can't stand them. Irritaing and annoying. Sooooo, ball-kicking ppl... smile =). I treat u all as my gd friends tt's y.
However, recently someone said some things. And i gave some thought over it.... Let's juz say tt some of the gd friends i consider think i'm some kind of push over. Well, I'm definately not. I name a few names. Ray Wan Jiv Bit San Vid Raj Yz Jun Vin Loo, in a particular order i do not want to say. Btw, I'm vv vv vv gd to friends. I dun mind spending more money to make ppl happy. Really. Tt's y they think I'm easy to cheat. Nah.. Anyway, they're ranked. I'm vv disappointed at one side. But vv happy at the other side. One side they treat me the way i treat them, vv nice, respectful, joked w/o any harm. Other side treat me like a fool. Cheat me of simple money. Hides behind a fake mask. However!!! At the centre, dun dispair! If i put it in a graph, it would be an exponential graph, so smile =)! It's not tt I dunno they're treating me like a fool, making fun of me with some degree of hypocrisy or even challenging my intellect, I do. I know wad they're doing most of the time. I juz choose to act blur, be blur and juz let them have their fun for that period of time. This Was my idea b4. But now I'm trying to change. Cuz I'm so used to acting blur tt I need some time to bring in my Sec 1 sec 2 character in.. some of them only. After all, my confidence in life skills came from being so called 'lame'. I'm lame to ppl i'm close wif only btw. Raj said he knows a lot of Joels, but of all, I'm the most 'loser'. Ok.. loser. Yea, when i heard it, I laughed it off, make some stupid comments and trying to defend myself stupidly and making them laugh at my so-called stupidity. But no.. NO! I'm doing it in 2 minds. I'm trying to ease the tension, let out some air and at the same time think about wad he really means. This loser thing is true to a certain extent. Cuz I laugh things off and act blur. My friends should know me. Yup, but! Think carefully. Recall Sec 1 and 2. ME. Recall me at that time. Compare with now. Which is "more better" <-- =D, ? I think now. I dunno how my these lame shit came into me, but it did. There was this time when i told my friend I'm retaining. Jun din believe it. Until after like 3 wks. I was touched. But I din show anything. And when a few called me retainee, i felt sad. But I din show anything either. But I chose to advance. One thing is the time factor, other thing is friends factor. This is the first decision in my life tt i made based on my friends. Haizz.....
These few days.. did nth much xcept kicked ball. Sat soccer with some TJC ppl which boosted my morale and confidence on the ball, mon went shopping (I can really shop!! Haha! Juz ask yz on his views =D), and tues kicked ball again with some muds. Wed going to watch National treasure with TY and Amir..
Wad did i REALLY do this whole holiday???!?! Nth much to do wif studies though. I juz wan to free my mind of them now. I want to rest and to chiong all the way nxt yr. And while I'm typing this, I have my Ionic Eq notes infront of me pg 35. Haizzzz..
Anyway, I'm come up wif an analysis. Watching San play is a mind-opener. It opens up ur mind to a lot of things and u can really learn a lot a lot from his style. His is the only one among them cuz of his aggression. I think only i can match tt, ONLY for aggresssion. So I wan to sort of pirate his style =D. And I can;t play under pressure, my heart and brain do not co-ordinate and i end up entangled. I can think properly, my decision making slows down, composure drops. Everything sux!
Okok.. enough of soccer le. It's been a lot a lot of soccer lately. =D. Makes me sound like a soccer freak. A guy wearing round spects with his shirt tucked in and pants pulled up high on the waist carrying a cock soccer ball wearing track shoes. Haha! Tt's MY idea of a soccer nerd. Think deep into my thoughts =D.
Ok, sth different now. I'm lazy but determined. Contradict? Nah... I am vv lazy by nature, but I'm vv determined also! I dun want to laze around so I'm determined to do stuffs. I dun like to procrastinate! I hate it!!!! I can't stand it when ppl do tt. But if wif friends.. there's nth i can do xcept suggest sth. Like those days at Econ....
I'm short and hot-tempered, but I have vv strong self control. I flare up vv easily but no grudges most of the time. BUT... BUT i only flare up with friends i am comfortable wif. That is close and gd friends. Cuz only wif them I can den show my True self w/o restraits by being comfortable. However, wif not so close friends, I can't. Even if someone pisses me of so badly, I would control and ren.... haha! I wun flare up. With the xception of drivers who horn at me when I'm jay-walking when there're like 70m away going at 10m/s. I juz can't stand them. Irritaing and annoying. Sooooo, ball-kicking ppl... smile =). I treat u all as my gd friends tt's y.
However, recently someone said some things. And i gave some thought over it.... Let's juz say tt some of the gd friends i consider think i'm some kind of push over. Well, I'm definately not. I name a few names. Ray Wan Jiv Bit San Vid Raj Yz Jun Vin Loo, in a particular order i do not want to say. Btw, I'm vv vv vv gd to friends. I dun mind spending more money to make ppl happy. Really. Tt's y they think I'm easy to cheat. Nah.. Anyway, they're ranked. I'm vv disappointed at one side. But vv happy at the other side. One side they treat me the way i treat them, vv nice, respectful, joked w/o any harm. Other side treat me like a fool. Cheat me of simple money. Hides behind a fake mask. However!!! At the centre, dun dispair! If i put it in a graph, it would be an exponential graph, so smile =)! It's not tt I dunno they're treating me like a fool, making fun of me with some degree of hypocrisy or even challenging my intellect, I do. I know wad they're doing most of the time. I juz choose to act blur, be blur and juz let them have their fun for that period of time. This Was my idea b4. But now I'm trying to change. Cuz I'm so used to acting blur tt I need some time to bring in my Sec 1 sec 2 character in.. some of them only. After all, my confidence in life skills came from being so called 'lame'. I'm lame to ppl i'm close wif only btw. Raj said he knows a lot of Joels, but of all, I'm the most 'loser'. Ok.. loser. Yea, when i heard it, I laughed it off, make some stupid comments and trying to defend myself stupidly and making them laugh at my so-called stupidity. But no.. NO! I'm doing it in 2 minds. I'm trying to ease the tension, let out some air and at the same time think about wad he really means. This loser thing is true to a certain extent. Cuz I laugh things off and act blur. My friends should know me. Yup, but! Think carefully. Recall Sec 1 and 2. ME. Recall me at that time. Compare with now. Which is "more better" <-- =D, ? I think now. I dunno how my these lame shit came into me, but it did. There was this time when i told my friend I'm retaining. Jun din believe it. Until after like 3 wks. I was touched. But I din show anything. And when a few called me retainee, i felt sad. But I din show anything either. But I chose to advance. One thing is the time factor, other thing is friends factor. This is the first decision in my life tt i made based on my friends. Haizz.....
Do I need someone to talk to at times? I dunno. Maybe.... There was Ray. But he's in NS.
Wad is my character? Think first. Juz tink. Wad do u think they are? Here are some outstanding ones.. Cunning and stubborn. Does the word cunning bother u? I hope not. It's psychology now. Cunning... wad is being cunning? Hmmmm??? I am.
Wad are other characteristics of mine? Soft-hearted, gullible. I'm soft hearted to ppl hu approach me and also gullible. I dunno how to say NO to friends and ppl really in need. However, i am most able to reject sales ppl near MRT interchanges.
It's 2am now.. I muz sleep le. Otherwise I might not be able to cope wif the 1st wk at sch... Maybe I'll continue nxt time. juz.. maybe..
I wan to meet someone kind, helpful, considerate, rather talkative, somewhat a little blur, a little lame, empathetic and sweet..........................................................................................
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