What if history's repeating? It seem to be, just that this one's more reciprocative.

What happens if
- the stuff I actually bring from home is shared?
- the things I do are just filling in the gabs left by the other person who's not doing much?
- I'm on wild goose chase, literally?

den again.. What happens if it's because of ONE indecisive person?

An extended period of happiness, but occassional, and getting more frequent emo-ness. Worth it? The splinter is there.. I cant take it out, and am just going to wait for it to fall of naturally. So this person here has 2 choices, either to take it out, or to make changes to everything just to suit this splinter. Namely, month-saries. I mean the dates are similar, it's quite obvious.

Each time the splinter appears in the picture, there's an inner emotion that surfaces which is constantly being surpressed. This is not a good feeling. Imagine how hard it is to surpress a laughter, this is twice harder. But den again, the splinter is already there when I decided to be involved as well. A choice I made which I ought to face? Perhaps..

Arghz! Worry, and you are able to do something, it's not too bad.

Worry, but yet, there are a lot of things you can't do.. Like
- I can't call or msg cuz the splinter's around. Either dun reply/reject/disappear.. It's like last time.. Like wad the hell...
- You wanna ngiam.. scold.. nag.. but, how much can you do so when things are at such status quo?
- Cheer you up? So many worries, so many things going on in your life! You know.. 因为太了解所以很伤心，但因为太了解，所以会觉得越多事我还真的不懂! 我没必要懂，可是因为不懂而真的很担心. 但懂了，可能会突然明白太多太多. 懂也不行，不懂也不行!

The "date", the "bake", the "make'.. 妒忌，怕，烦，矛盾.. 怎么办呢............... I'm a person who really appreciate these minor details in life. Seeing it in front of you... yet.....

On the brighter side, all these might be just paranoid? Haha....

Says come Jan when there's a split for 6 months, things would change. I'm not quite sure.. I would think it would resume after 6months.. It's painful. 真的........

Not emo-ing now. But more of reality check. I'm confused.

Lying to others.. This is rather common. Happens naturally all the time. How about lying to yourself? Hmm..

I guess we only lie to ourselves to make ourselves feel better? Cowardly act? Haha.. Perhaps. I lie to myself because otherwise, I would be thinking a lot and feeling unhappy. Choosing to believe the things I want to believe even though I know there may be many other points to look out for. Or are the things I choose to believe really the truth, and I am just being too paranoid. Many ifs, many ors. But all in all, I just want to be happy. We all just want to do things that make us happy even though it might not be the right thing to do, even enough we know that things might drop drastically in future. We do it, there's a 50-50 chance it might work out, if we do not do it, 100% chance that it will not work out.

Arghz! But then again, sometimes things don't work like that...

I'm starting soon.. my nights are limited.. It'll be a start to another phase of my life.. =) But the above.. =( .. =() Haizzz..

Had quite a full day today! Haha.. Woke up, and left house to meet Winnie, Angela and Marcus at Sim Lim to get some electronic equipment for home studio. We went on to Peninsular Plaza and Plaza Sing looking for headphones and mic stands etc too.

After that, had dinner with yj at Chikuwa Tei. Chikuwa Tei is the "new" Wasabi Tei that was at Far East Plaza. The price.. upped by a good 50% after adding the GSTs and Service Tax. We ordered quite a lot of stuff though.. I dun think it is wise to go all the way to Mohd Sultan and eat some Terriyaki Chicken with rice and that's it. Silly! Haha! Mix sashimi, Cod and veg soup, Chawanmushi, Unagi, Garlic Rice, Soba.. Costed $107. It's a lil on the ex side for 2 person, and the standards dropped. I guess it was cuz the chef's assistants prepared some of the stuff. Nevertheless, the sashimi is still as thick and as shiok as ever. I'd probably spend more on the sashimi the next time!

Went on to Sembawang Park, and saw a temple procession there.. It was some deity's birthday. The roads were closed, and people were holding the large joss sticks. There were lion dances etc too.. Quite a grand affair and there were a lot a lot of people. It's something new cuz I never seen anything like this in Singapore. We hung around a little before going over to Woodlands Waterfront to talk again. It's happier now! Talking about happy things is all it needs.

Oh ya, I was supposed to go to the Night Safari with some of my Voices peeps today, but cancelled cuz there were very little people. Some cockster spoiled the plan too, totally 猪！=)

I juz came back from Club Macau, and everyone was surprised to see David Tao Ze there! He was there as a normal paying customer, without informing anyone but everyone starting to notice him after awhile. And he's Se Pei Pei as well! Touchy and tried to kiss the girl who was talking to him! He's a playful dude la! Haha!

Brought home-cooked ox-tail to sch today for yj too! =) Before meeting up with Almido and going over the Centrepoint for Michelle's birthday gathering. It was a small cosy gathering at Aston's Prime. She has her 21st at her place last Saturday (25/10) and catered and bought like 128937210812 food! Super super a lot of food to cater to her 70 guests! Her 3 layer cake was cool too!

Other than that, life's pretty stagnant these days. Oh.. brought yj to Khatib Dam on Sat night and spent a few hours talking about everything. Times like these are really cosy because you can talk about anything with all the privacy you want with cool night breeeze blowing at you! And it really helps that we think quite similarly and understand each other so well. =) You know.. Sometimes when talking, you are suddenly at a loss for words cuz you are unable to think of a suitable explanation for things. Then your partner just tells you that he/she gets it, and at the same time, you know it's not a fu-yan kinda thing but he/she really gets it! That's yj for you.. It's like transferring data from a computer to another.. It's very heart-warming =)

The 了解 sang during auditions really created something.. Had it been another song, things might change altogether. This is fate.. Haha.. 因为太了解所以很伤心.. 你想个孩子一样被我看穿，在你面前我试着隐瞒.. 想见你没有你时间在宣也没意义.. 想给你听我的心跳，想你知道我睡得不好.. Honey Honey 我只想对你说声对不起.. These song lyrics.. Haha.. =)

There's been THE something recently too.. Shall continue on.. Life's a give and take... And sometimes, instead of having many reasons to do sth or no reason to do sth, there's also ONE reason to do something. And the reason is that, I'm happy and smiling when I do this something. =)