The first tear dropped in a super duper long time. I can't remember when was the last time. Though it was just ONE drop, it meant something.
It was dropped because I was listening to Ah Du's 下雪 song on radio in the car as it was raining very heavily outside. I din even pay much attention to the lyrics, but at that point of time, I had decided to drop it for good. And when the song played, all the happy times flashed through.. all the way to us saying we would walk down Orchard road taking photos with all the Christmas decorations. I recalled how excited I was when I was talking about it.. saying that I always wanted to do such things but had no chance.. And now, it's just all gone.
The tear was not because of any other external factor, but just me deciding that hey, it's over. All those things were just memories. They were really wonderful memories. We were "unofficially" together for like one month... Met up like 14 times in November, a good 2000 minutes talked over the phone. Endless sms-es that last from 早安宝贝 to 晚安宝贝s be it who woke up first or slept first. Those sms kisses, phone kisses.. when we both just fell asleep over the phone and woke up to see 2hrs/3hrs passed. Haha... To the point when I just had the feeling to say the 3words to you as you were sleeping, and you said had you known, you would not have slept. All these memories..
Why is fate so cruel?! Put everything together nicely just that it was dropped at the wrong time! One month earlier at least? Everything might really change. Throughout the whole thing.. it's super obvious that if you were not with him, we would really get together. But the fact is that you were with him. And the horrible thing is that we are like getting super close with each passing day and you kept on saying that you and him wun last and stuff. That's something that gave me hope, and continue doing everything I did, which you reciprocated whole heartedly.
I can make big detours just so that you do not bump into him when with me. Go big circles, take a different route, stop at a point 200m away hidden from him and stuff. Do you know how much it hurted me?? But I did it just simply because I dont want you to be unhappy.
You always said we have lots of time to do lots of things together. But has it finally run out? The photos you took on cruise with him.. your expression was just blissful. Was it all an act for him? Haha.. even if you told me that, it'll be hard for me to believe. So, I wun believe, but I would just accept.
Haha.. the irony. Everything I talked to you about even before we got close seems to be happening to me now. All these shit..
That Thurday night went I looked you up and we talked, and I told you I would do my best to not love you anymore.. The next day you kept on dropping hint. WHY?! You could have left it at there, and it would be better. No matter what I do, I'm still not strong enough to hurt you. Why on Saturday when we met, I told you I realised everything you wanted to do.. and just wanted to not hurt him. Your reaction was neutral with slight guilt. And throughout the time we were out, you mentioned his name thrice! The cruise.. omg.. haha..
Simply because I dun want you to be hurt, that's why Im still hanging on. Even up to now.. I saw the cruise pictures, and I know I really have to be strong and get away from you. But, my biggest worry would be that you get sad over it.. haizz...
Really.. understanding you too well hurts a lot.....
It was dropped because I was listening to Ah Du's 下雪 song on radio in the car as it was raining very heavily outside. I din even pay much attention to the lyrics, but at that point of time, I had decided to drop it for good. And when the song played, all the happy times flashed through.. all the way to us saying we would walk down Orchard road taking photos with all the Christmas decorations. I recalled how excited I was when I was talking about it.. saying that I always wanted to do such things but had no chance.. And now, it's just all gone.
The tear was not because of any other external factor, but just me deciding that hey, it's over. All those things were just memories. They were really wonderful memories. We were "unofficially" together for like one month... Met up like 14 times in November, a good 2000 minutes talked over the phone. Endless sms-es that last from 早安宝贝 to 晚安宝贝s be it who woke up first or slept first. Those sms kisses, phone kisses.. when we both just fell asleep over the phone and woke up to see 2hrs/3hrs passed. Haha... To the point when I just had the feeling to say the 3words to you as you were sleeping, and you said had you known, you would not have slept. All these memories..
Why is fate so cruel?! Put everything together nicely just that it was dropped at the wrong time! One month earlier at least? Everything might really change. Throughout the whole thing.. it's super obvious that if you were not with him, we would really get together. But the fact is that you were with him. And the horrible thing is that we are like getting super close with each passing day and you kept on saying that you and him wun last and stuff. That's something that gave me hope, and continue doing everything I did, which you reciprocated whole heartedly.
I can make big detours just so that you do not bump into him when with me. Go big circles, take a different route, stop at a point 200m away hidden from him and stuff. Do you know how much it hurted me?? But I did it just simply because I dont want you to be unhappy.
You always said we have lots of time to do lots of things together. But has it finally run out? The photos you took on cruise with him.. your expression was just blissful. Was it all an act for him? Haha.. even if you told me that, it'll be hard for me to believe. So, I wun believe, but I would just accept.
Haha.. the irony. Everything I talked to you about even before we got close seems to be happening to me now. All these shit..
That Thurday night went I looked you up and we talked, and I told you I would do my best to not love you anymore.. The next day you kept on dropping hint. WHY?! You could have left it at there, and it would be better. No matter what I do, I'm still not strong enough to hurt you. Why on Saturday when we met, I told you I realised everything you wanted to do.. and just wanted to not hurt him. Your reaction was neutral with slight guilt. And throughout the time we were out, you mentioned his name thrice! The cruise.. omg.. haha..
Simply because I dun want you to be hurt, that's why Im still hanging on. Even up to now.. I saw the cruise pictures, and I know I really have to be strong and get away from you. But, my biggest worry would be that you get sad over it.. haizz...
Really.. understanding you too well hurts a lot.....
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