Recently, I came across this food blog by a 20 year old girl. She's a chef-in-learning and just went overseas for her chef studies. Althought I do not know her, but by reading through her blog posts it's like I can see how much she loves food and cooking, and all the efforts she take to come up with a meal for her family! I mean yes, I cook for my family at times too, but I dunno.. it just feels different. Perhaps her presentation and food description boomzified me? Haha..

Here's her add: divinejoybites.blogspot.com

I admire her passion. Extreme passion and willing to take a path other than a normal Singaporean.. JC>Uni>9 to 5 job. For myself, I have no much of a choice other than to carry on in the workforce.

I have been thinking recently too.. as to what do I want to do. I want to open a cafe/restaurant and set up an events company. Both are my passion. But the thing is, I cannot open a restaurant without a chef. I need to find one, and this is a main problem! Thai chef from thailand? Indon chef fron Indon? Just go there for a month and try to find one good one and ask if he's interested in working in Singapore? This is so drama! Do I think it can work out, yes i do. Haha.. extreme optimism from me. Aside from the chef, there's the logistics, menu, marketing and publicity... And the menu.. pricing.. raw ingredients and stuff! What's my start up cost, and how much how long before my money comes back? Lots and lots and lots of research. Should I just start and if it's just a time wasting thing cuz I cant find a chef, you never know what would happen in future. Ok, I jus decided I would start on my research slowly.

The next thing.. events company. No head no tail. I've done events and stuff, but I need a platform. The platform would be to work in an events company. But it's usually 9 to 5, and I cannot do it with my current job. I'm not going to give up my current job yet cuz I just started. Oh my.. Marcus... I hope we can really come up with something once you grad in June.

Tuition centre is another thing I thought of, but it's simply because it's easy money. Haha.. And it's the easiest of all. Get a place, get furniture, get teachers, market urself like a somebodehh and hope people will come to you. An almost no brainer if we dont consider all the admin, licensing and manpower-ing issues.

Lying to myself too much! Or rather not facing up to things.. and living in self delusions. In another way, I'm protecting myself well. This whole thing will definitely strengthen me mentally though.

I get the occassional sadness, loneliness, difference now and stuff, but coping well. Or at least I think I'm coping well. Say I'm trying to find someone else to take all these stuff away from me.. Is it possible? Is it fair to that someone, if that someone ever appears? Haha... Life is not fair. Once you step in, it's hard for you to step out.

I'm trying to meet more people(yes, local and not PRCs from my workplace), and to brighten up my life a lil. And I'm finally trying out Yoga.. although it is just one session first, but everything has to have a start.

I have to face it that as of now, there is absolutely no way of returning to the past. Everything is moving forward and I have to move FASTER than everyone. Once I'm lagging, I'm at a disadvantage. Come on Joel, you are much much stronger than this!

You asked me if THAT was worth it. Yes it is. Because it forced you to make a decision, and you made it. And yes, I agree that sadly, I'm too smart for you. Haha.. in a bad way. Seeing through your "evil plans". As time goes by, everything becomes memories and memories.. maybe distant. How close as friends can be be compared to 2 person who have something for each other? I do not know. In anycase, it's just ONE week since you left. Though I have been getting this vibe since Tajimaya day. Perhaps my one second step on the acclerator and switching gears gave you another slap. Haha.. In any case, like I said as before you flew off, that finally, both of us broke free. Unlike that night at Chinese Garden, when I wanted to, but we still came back the next day, or rather the day after.

I think Almido can agree that THAT was arguably my happiest moment in the 2.5 years they knew me.. =) Well, at least there was a past.

I'm damn sure you would read this. Yes, super duper sure cuz I still understand you a lot. No worries, I'm really coping fine back here, and moving ahead with my life. I still have my events company and tuition centre and food establishement in mind! And no matter what's going to happen these months be it we drift like damn far or wad, the promise a year back still holds. Find Li Pei Fen at a GeTai during the 7th lunar month. It's a something to just look to.

Just ranting. Many many more rants, but I'll just keep them, and i will forget about them, hopefully. =)