Coming Wednesday, 31/8/2011, it would be my last day as a LSB 老师. Mixed feelings really. On one hand, I do really want to quit cuz I'm having a hard time juggling school and work and sleeping only 2 hours a day. But on the other hand, I'll miss having to touch the keyboards everyday, and be so close to music. I guess I made the choice, that I will put music aside, and do culinary.

Over the 9 months, have I improved musically? I would say yes definitely. Aside from musically, i've been officially exposed to the LSB environment, and seeing how money is thrown around. Way back in Dec, I was discussing with a vv good friend about how much I would change after being in this line, and thinking through it, I do not think I have had any negative changes. Changes definitely, but all positive.

I've grown to take up the role as a 老师, and from one who doesn't know anything, to one who people respect, and earned the name as 百度老师，and not 豪门小老师. These 9 months have really passed by super quickly! I've been playing the same songs over and over and over again such that I do not have to think at all. I'll miss the night life, the 老师 life. I do not think I would ever go back to being a 老师 again given my schedule. DCA, start my own restaurant, move on with life...

老师 aside, after having being in touch with music daily, I hope I will not get rusty. I want to perform regularly still. Rusty fingers, rusty ears, rusty brain... I hope not!

I've seen flowers for a show totally to $120000.. see how grand things are, seen the antics of the old men. All in all, a good experience. I love it when I saw 2 old men vying to help the girl they like to get the most amount of flowers for the night, and when both of them drew at 13.5k, they stood up, shook hands, and laughed it off. Kids at clubs would juz whack each other. I don't miss the entertainment, I miss the learning experience. I've come to a standstill, and sitting comfortably in my comfort zone... Im sad. =(

Till my next stint at RWS as a chef trainee!

Fortune teller says that I've the guy's 桃花运. I think it's really true. Since I'm attached, I have to be focused! Cuz it seems that I've always been closed to girls due to my "no-motive" befriending of everyone. Some guys juz get to know girls for some reason or another. Thinking back, it's been like that throughout my life. But it so happened that I had only 1 ex, and gt close to another.

Take it like for my DCA course. There's this girl who's from the same NUS batch as myself. We're getting closer by talking more etc. Ppl in sch are gossiping about us. No matter what, focus! =)

Good thing I'm ending my night job soon and I am able to recharge my tenacity and stuff. No affairs or such. If friends notice, slap me alright!

=)

I'm a power freak. I like to be in power and in control. Haha! When I was sous chef on Friday(which means like a class monitor), and I was in charge of getting the peeps to do certain things. The command and control felt shiok! And I am missing this kinda command and control. I like stress.. mental stress! It's been a while since I did a concert, or was in charge of a big event.. The sense of self-achievement i gain when I see instructions being put to action bit by bit. Haha! =) Well, not everyone wants to be in control or can stand these kinda stress. I'm missing it! My brain has been taking a break for like a year now. It's screaming to let it out! I cant wait to start my own restaurant and be stressed everyday over it. Oh well, see how it goes! And I'm hoping for a nice place for my apprenticeship! No hotels, or some places which I tried and was unimpressed with. Looking forward to Fri for dinner with Almido!

It has been two weeks since my last MC, and so far, I've been coping reasonably well at school. However, I do feel really really tired whenever I'm "travelling" to places. Be it on cabs or MRTs etc.. I just need 1min before I fall asleep. The worse was on 12/8. After school, I wanted to get to Aljunied Phoon Huat to get some stuff for the dinner with my sec school friends on sat. First, I got on the wrong train at Tai Seng, and had to change train once. When I eventually got to Paya Lebar, I thought that maybe I can try out the Phoon Huat at Simei. Here's the joke.. I took the train, and overslept! I woke up when the train's next stop was Tampines, got off, and took the train going in the other direction. Apparently, the train I was actually taking had reached Pasir Ris, and was going towards Joo Koon, and by taking the train towards the other direction, I ended up back at Pasir Ris. I eventually took the Pasir Ris train to Simei, but did not see my items, and took another train to Aljunied. A 30min journey took me like 1.5 hours! =(

I took a quick nap when I got home, before getting to work, and spent 4 to 730am making desserts and some Mise-En-Place for the dinner, 8 to 10am at the market, 10am to 1230pm doing more Mise-En-Place. I went back to sleep, and woke up at 530, 1 hour late! The dinner was supposed to be at 630! Luckily, I managed to complete everything by 645! And I was quite satisfied with the dinner! The only one dish that was not that appetizing was the soup, which was a little too sweet! I really need to know how to boil a good soup cuz I want to do my steamboat restaurant, which specialises in wonderful soup base!

And I cant wait to quit my job. Last week or so.. I have totally no mood to work already! =( I get to work everyday, waiting to get off. I'm taking more offs(unpaid leaves) just to rest at home etc. The new guy.. pls hurry up come ok! I cannot take it already! My reactions are slowly down, brain not functioning as well as before!

My life is really too rushed, and in quite a frenzy. I'm at work now, and there're only 3 tables that are very quiet. It's dark, and it's breaktime for myself and the singers. The customers are ktv-ing. Imagine Eason's k歌之王.. I'm really really feeling the tiredness coming through, and don't think I can stand this much longer. The good news is that there'll be a replacement in 1 to 2 weeks time, and it's bye bye to my night job! Good pay, but to put it crudely, I only have money now. No life, and no time for any social life of such. The tiredness is really eating into me! And with more time, I can go for more gatherings! Make use of these 2 months before apprenticeship starts cuz that'll mean another stint of lifeless-ness! =)

我这一生中，目前最爱的人，除了家人，还是她... 希望能够尽快move on in life. Physically and mentally I've moved, but emotionally, I still feel it. Especially when songs that relate pop up from the radio or somewhere. Hmm.. come to think of it, our 代表歌曲s have not appeared yet. Haha.. Memories memories memories............

At this point in time, I'm feeling very very tired. I'm tired of juggling school and work. It's really taking its toll on me! I usually take just a 2 hour nap each day, from 430am to 630am, and if I have no plans after school(which is getting super rare now), I get an additional 3 hours from 6pm to 9pm.

School's getting more fun with the frequent outings and gatherings, and the bringing of our foreign classmates around Singapore. All these impromptu gatherings.. I'm missing quite a few of them because of work, and I think if I am going into this industry, I would need to know more people who are going into this line!

Working life on the other hand.. each time I get to work, I look forward to getting off work! It's a chore to me.. I'm not getting any excitement now. Perhaps it could be because I know that I want to start my own business. Also, I'm into my perfect comfort zone at work, and have been able to cope with all sorts of problems and situations around. No more excitement for myself. Of course, I can explore more to up the ante, and create a niche for myself in this industry, but time is lacking. I do not even have time to get a minimum of 7 hours sleep a day!

I'm losing my tenacity in things I do. I need to get a recharge. I need HTHTs!

Tendered my resignation.. just hope I can leave asap. I dun think I can stand it until the end of Sep......

好久没自己唱自己写的“其实我爱你”了。在几天前，收到朋友的要求，就唱了一遍。非常惊讶。因为虽然只是通过电话，也没有什么刚请伴奏，就唱得非常有感觉。那在同一个晚上，通过电话，也加上钢琴的伴奏，自己自弹自唱了一遍。以为没什么大不了，致使多唱一遍自己写的歌曲。但唱得当儿，真身发热，好多感觉，但在脑海里一个画面也没有。是因为什么呢？

Could it be that I've been blocking things away so successfully from myself, but yet the subconsious tells the truth? I dunno if I still miss her. I dunno if I'll still think of her, and I do not know if she comes "clapping" to me one day, what would I do. I know I have to move on, and I'm moving on. To the "you" and the Almidos reading, I'm attached. But was it an abrupt move? Is this move a genuine one? I do not have the answer to these myself. But I do know what are the right things to do.

Throughout this period I met this person, and started to just talk. IMHO, I did not do anything except to just talk talk and talk. Simply communication. I did not compose a song, nor cook or make anything, absolutely nth, but somehow, she says I did a lot. Then again, my threshold for "doing a lot" is really much higher than most.

It's a situation of girl has more feelings for the guy than guy has for girl. But cuz of the previous para, the girl is doing quite a bit for the guy. Making barley.. ginseng.. cooling stuff cuz the guy is sick and works late, and sleeps very little. The girl is now giving morning calls at 630am when she only has to wake up at 8 or 9am! The girl is talking all about it to friends and families. It's like come on, such a nice person doing this, I must know what to do. I'm going what I said most people are doing, that is "to get to know each other whilst in a relationship", and climbing the so-called relationship ladder, rather than the friendship ladder. It helps that I'm super busy now, and dun even have time to sleep. A good chance to see how this goes, and to nurture the flame. Hopefully, when I quit my job (which I hope will happen asap!), and when I have more time at hand, I would be ready to fully commit my whole life in this. Ok, half, the other half goes to my restaurant building.

I've grown up a bit now. I can feel it. Lots of ideas and thoughts have changed.. Aging perhaps. And yes, I'm all ready to say that, I miss life when I was younger.. JC, Army, Uni.. I'm missing the experiences and lifestyle. I'm now worrying about making enough money for a boomz marriage in future, and for family(parents and kids next time).. Enjoying life, everything! Haizzz.... I am really vv happy to be in Almido. Very very very lucky.......