My past relationships all had not too nice endings. The current one, is in danger as well. I am very very scared actually. We are now going through a very shaky spell. The presence of another person in the whole picture does not help the scenario at all. The main cause of the current problem would be overly possessive, and clingy. Yes, that is me. Something that is totally not me, but why the change? The paranoid-ness me is scared of this "person" in the picture.

First one.. P. Got cheated on right in front of me. Worn the green hat. Chung Chi called it a fiasco. The first relationship. Lasted 2 years even. Lessons learnt.

2nd one.. I have to say yj. We were not in one officially, but unofficially in a way. Lasted 3 months. They were really happy 3 months which I up to now, still smile when I think of those. It's purely memories now though. I was the 3rd party in this. We were super duper close, but I dropped a bomb because I could not stand it anymore, and I lost. We're just friends now. A far cry from before. Someone who saw me through the end of my NUS days, and the start of KTV. Thank you. A lot a lot a lot. 

3rd one. kl. Got tgt to forget yj. Started on the wrong track. I did honestly try to go the right path and get things straight. However current came into the picture. I was involved with a 3rd party in this. She eventually found out, and was devastated. Hospitalised. Up to now, I am still very guilty and will 永远欠 her. 

Current. Met in school. Got through super a lot tgt. A lot of challenges we each faced together, and individually with work/school. Fellow NUS dropout, from the same batch too. Small world. This was more of a "mature" relationship than a "honeymoon-ey" relationship. Started off a little too soon, but the love grew. 日久生情 in a way I guess. There were many happy as well as unhappy memories. Learning more about each other each time there were clashes. At the point when we got together, I was like perhaps just a mere 30% loving her. That was why I was delaying the question. Up to now, It's perhaps 95%. That is from my side. It's stronger than even yj. Just when all things were at its peak, a bomb dropped. I brought it up, another bomb dropped. Bombed 3 times. I'm now trying as hard as I can to bring things up. I am really getting tired, but still far from giving up. 6months than seem like a year because of everything we experienced, truly wholesomely loving her.. I cannot give up. This has not been an easy journey, external setbacks? Come on Joel.. you can do better. Just be more patient than you already have been. Everything will be alright in the end, if it is not alright, it is not the end.