A wise man said.. "You dont want to ask questions you dont want to know the answers to." I agree. I have nothing left to lose. Everything to win. 

I failed in my patience a few times.. even the last time with yj.. patience failed and it destroyed everything. I shall just absorb everything and hope for the best. Hoping that someone's patience will run out. 

How many guys in this world would willing be a "joel" in the yj situation? That is to be close to someone, to love someone, and yet let the someone have a bf still whom she spends time with. I was in that position, and I could not stand it already. Perhaps if the guy was just bs-ing and using the girl as a sex partner, then that might be it. Other than that.. nah.. Shall see. Patience. And a lot a lot of self absorbing..