I have been crying spasms recently. That I just want to hide under my blanket, cuddle up, hug onto something, and just cry. Am I really stressed? I guess it probably links to the fact that I felt alone some time back. I am still alone no matter what, and the problems are getting bigger and bigger.. Many things happening at once and all coming down with problems I am in no position to solve immediately. No one to share these with. It seems like I need a partner. Haha.. I do not know. 

Flashbacks of the drowning incident keep coming back recently as well. I feel that I have lost things I had before. I hope I can reach a balance of things if Three Rounds really go ahead. I am the main motivator of it.. In a way, a big pressure and stress on me, handling still ok, but perhaps I do constantly need someone to cry to, literally.